Mastering the Big Three…
I have been told that when a man reaches his forties, his body will no longer allow him to have multiple partners without raising some kind of resistance. If this is a truism then we need to understand the concept behind the idea.
I am a woman of nearly 45 years; in my history of marriage, divorce and dating, I have known men of different ages.
In keeping with the model set before us here, if it’s true that men of a ‘certain age’ can no longer find it within them sexually to take other lovers because their bodies won’t ‘allow’ it, then this is what I’ve come to learn
During the teen years, men can achieve both erections and orgasms relatively easy. It doesn’t take much to believe that a young man of 18 or 19 can not only have several sex partners, but he can also have several erections and orgasms on a nearly daily basis. In fact, his very pride may depend on this one trait and in having to prove himself to his friends; he may have a substantial ‘stable’ of females in the offing just waiting for that moment that he will ‘grace’ them with his presence… and his erection.
In the second decade of his life, this same man may have to cut back on the number of partners that he’s having sex with, but this is probably and most likely due to the fact that he can no longer afford to pay for the needs and desires of these partners. This is to say, dating has now become kind of an expensive proposition and he can’t supply many with his limited resources. In other words, his bank account can’t match his sex account.
It’s probably the discovery of this fact that makes him decide that he’s got to go from many to few in order to maintain his status of living; if he wants to continue a comfortable lifestyle. Sexual partners who believe they are the ‘only’ one in his life, soon become comfortable enough to make demands on his time and finances. When this happens, he has to make a decision as to who is worth his time, money and erections.
In the third decade of his life, a man will often ‘hitch his wagon’ to someone in particular but continue to want the freedom that his youth had afforded him. At this time in his life, he has to make the decision to become ‘monogamous’ and therefore, CHOOSE from his stable. Whichever mare he pulls out to be the best, the most efficacious and the most viable for perpetuating his lineage, will be the one he will ‘settle down’ with in the end
It’s in his forties that I have noticed a regression in both his mental stability and his physical fidelity. Many men start to see a depression of those endorphin inducing hormones that come from being able to have sex with many women. That is to say, this is what I’ve been told by several 40-something men I know.
Something about the breakdown of their looks is directly tied to the need to show they can be sexual predators. The advent of drugs like Lavitra™, Viagra™ and Cialis™ have made it possible for waning erections to have new life. With the intervention of these drugs and the susceptibility of a fragile ego, it’s possible for a man to believe he’s twenty again, even if only within his penis.
We’ve been set up to believe that EVERYTHING is sexual. Everything depends on our ability to have sex in order to be considered successful. Society says that the sexier you are to look at, the better your chances are of becoming rich, famous… happy. Therefore, we believe that all we need to do is create this fantastical world of virility and we can have it all.
Even though I am no relationship expert, I’ve had several relationships with men in their forties and have been married and divorced from a man who was also in his forties. So I do feel that I have enough experience to say that based on what I have been through with my ex-husband and my ex-boyfriends; I am an expert on myself when it comes to bad relationships with men in their forties.
My ex-husband is my EX because he could not be faithful. He had far too many women in his stable and two too many illegitimate children during our union. Suffice to say, the two children I had with him are replicas of him inasmuch as they are girls and they resemble him in enormous fashion. They look like him, think like him and have his mannerisms. They are girls by design; after all, girls take on most of their genetic structure from their fathers and boys take on most of their genetic structure from their mothers. Genetics are a bitch when it comes to passing on a trait or a set of traits.
I am hard-pressed to believe that at my current age of 44 that my vagina is enough for a man of my same age or a bit older than I. The proof has been too visible that while his mouth says my body is the only body his desires; his emotional infidelity says otherwise. Many affairs during this stage of our lives are based on affairs of the heart. What men don’t understand is that an affair of the heart is just as damaging as a sexual affair. In fact, it can be MORE damaging to the psyche of a woman. Once you start breaking down this aspect of ‘her’ you may never recover the trust that was once there.
I have long believed that we are not born monogamous. In fact, we are far from monogamous beings; history has provided us with too much evidence that monogamy is a CHOICE not something that we are born with internally. Hearing from the lips of a man in his 40’s that he ‘can’t’ be unfaithful because his body won’t ‘let’ him gives me pause. I have too much proof that men can be unfaithful regardless of their age or decade of life.
What do you think about the idea that eventually a man’s body won’t allow him to cheat?
By Fiona/Contributing Editor
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