Playin’ Past Forty
Every human being has been given a path to walk on that optimizes their safety as they attempt to acquire what they need and crave on this planet. And as long as you stay true to yours, not only will you be in harmony with the causes and affects that govern your journey, but you will also have a significant edge over those who forsake their own paths.
This path is not like a tedious, never-ending road that leads to a specific, and perhaps undesirable, destination. With this path you are in complete control. And as long as you stay true to it, it will pave itself in front of you no matter which direction in life you choose to go; providing you with key insight while protecting you from potential hazards.
Unfortunately, because the dark wisdom that once kept all inhabitants of the planet true to their paths has been lost, the planet has become littered with people who walk blindly in chaos, and inadvertently lead others down similar chaotic trails. Perhaps more disturbing, there are also people out there who are masters of their paths and know how to lure the weak onto them to sacrifice for the sake of their own selfish journey.
But as long as you stay true to your path you have little to worry about.
There are several factors that can lead a woman off her path. For many women, their paths begin to fade once they begin to trust. But how can you form a relationship without trust? And if the person who you trust does attempt to lead you off your path, how would you even know? The answers lay in three secret rules that I have followed religiously throughout the course of my relationship life. These three rules have kept me on my path and have also allowed me to know if someone is attempting to take me off of it. And they can do the same for you. I refer to them as the big three: maintaining your principles, walking away and charging losses to the Game.
Maintaining your Principles
According to Dictionary.com, a principle is an accepted or professed rule of action or conduct. But when it comes to your relationship journey, one’s principles can best be described as the rails that keep you true to your path. As long as you maintain your principles then you know that you are within the rails of your path. And when you begin forsaking them, then you know that you have gone beyond the safety of these rails and into a potentially chaotic situation.
Maintaining your principles, as well as the two other rules that I will be discussing in this post, are core hood mores that were developed in the 1980’s to survive the Game and the urban relationship war it spawned. Click the link to learn more. According to the rules of the Game, you should always maintain your principles and never violate them. And should you get into a position of having to violate a principle to get what you crave, then the rules of the Game state that you should stay true to your principles and walk away, a term I will explain shortly.
Now, when I say violate a principle I don’t mean something trivial like having dinner at a Sushi bar despite previously thinking that eating raw fish was nasty. I mean a core principle that you have kept over the years because doing so has maintained your health, welfare, livelihood and sense of self-respect. A good example of violating an core principle would be going home with someone you meet at a club despite having a rule never to do so. The second you start your car and begin following homeboy to his spot, you have abandoned the safe path created for you in order to walk blindly on his. You have now placed him in control of your journey.
It’s worth mentioning here that gut feelings i.e. that feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach when something or someone does not seem quite right should also be respected. I believe that gut feelings are your ancestor’s way of warning you when they sense that you are in the midst of negative energy. Not following a gut feeling can be just as dangerous as not maintaining a principle.
I guy who does not respect your principles or who is constantly attempting to gnaw away at them should have no place in your life! With that being said, what should you do should you find yourself attracted to just such a guy? Well, you freakin’ walk away.
Walking away
Success on your relationship and dating journey is being able to walk away from temptation rather then compromise your principles in order to get what you crave. If you are able to turn your back and leave something designed to tempt you right down to your very soul then that core strength will allow you to survive your relationship journey and avoid predators who feed off of weakness.
In the Game, to be able to maintain this defensive moral is to be “Game Tight.” This means that you can keep to your principles and follow your gut instincts rather than allow yourself to be led blindly by emotions, temptation, lies and other people. In the scenario of the guy at the club who wants you to go home with him, maintaining your principles would be giving him your phone number and telling him to call you. And if he does then he’s now on your path bound by your principles.
But, with all that being said, that fact of the matter is that nobody’s perfect and we all tip-toe over the rails (compromise a principle or two) to get what we crave. In the scenario of the guy at the club, let’s say that he’s attractive, intelligent, well-dressed and promises that there will be no hanky panky. So, because you’re feelin’ him, you take a chance and follow him to his spot. If all goes well then good. Gambles can pay off. But let’s say you end up having a one night stand, and dude says he’s gonna call you but never does. And let’s also say that you see him at the club a few weeks later all up in some other chick’s face. What do you do then? Well, you charge that loss to the Game.
Charging losses to the Game
One of the main reasons why females lunge off their paths, never to find their way back, is to avenge an emotional hit suffered at the hands of someone they trusted (usually an ex). This is why it is so very important to learn how to charge these emotional losses to the Game; a universal credit card that absorbs the losses accrued by the strong (those who stay on their paths) and charges them off to the weak (those who do not). If you jump off of your path into the chaos to recoup a loss (that cannot be recouped legally) and do not return promptly—and remember, time flies when you’re emotional—then your path will fade and you will become part of the weak. Now the Game can, and usually does, charge you.
Now I know that some of you ladies might be saying, well, it’s easy for you to say, you’re a guy. Actually, this Game can charge both sides. Through the course of my relationship journey, I’ve had my tires slashed (more than once), sugar put into my gas tank, a bowling ball thrown through the window of my house, just to mention a few of the more noteworthy incidences. And in most of these cases, I knew exactly who did it but just couldn’t prove it. But rather than trip, I charged these losses to the Game.
The way I saw it, my hustle at the time was too sweet to jeopardize in order to prove to someone that I cared. And because I stayed true to my path I was allowed to maintain my hustle, which, in turn, allowed me to quickly repair the damages accrued from these hits as if the cost was mere pocket change.
Charging losses to the Game is like leaving the casino once you’ve lost the money you set aside to gamble with, passing by the ATMs and keeping your rent money in your checking account. By contrast, flailing off your path to recoup an emotional loss is more like gambling with that rent money.
So, this is how you apply the big three. You keep to your principles, staying within the rails of your path as the journey that you choose to walk is paved out before you. If something or someone that you want requires that you violate a core principle to have, then you keep to your principles and walk away. If, however, you do tip-toe off your path and take a loss in the process (that cannot be recouped legally), then you charge that loss to the Game, return to your path and move on.
Warning: If you are one of the many who walk blindly in disarray, letting your emotions and weakness to what you crave lead you then you are “Weak to the Game” and should get out of it (get married, stay home, join a monastery, ect). If you are weak to the Game yet stay in it anyway then you will live a life of being screwed, screwed over, used, abused, lied to, robbed and perhaps left for dead.
But by mastering the big three, not only will you greatly improve how you manage your Relationship Cycle, especially during the Spring, Fall and Winter aspects, but it will also help you to utilize the energy produced by your House of Scorn in a positive way by maintaining a sense of entitlement. Try it and good luck!
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@Layal
I would love to hear the views of the host of this website to hear the male perspective. My views may be outdated. And in all fairness let me state that I practice abstinence (no sex without marriage). Yet I understand that everyone does not agree and it’s okay. My thoughts a BJ(in a car) should be reserved for marriage or a committed monogamous relationship where two (committed people are making each other happy, fulfilling one another’s desires, spicing up their sex life or exploring and experimenting for the purposes of enhancing a balanced healthy relationship. Your first actual meeting with a man should be his time to make you feel special putting his best foot forward. I don’t care if you talked on the phone for a year previous to this meeting. You deserve to be treated with a level of respect and this should be a red flag. He may have some great qualities but somewhere down the line most men with this mind set don’t have a high respect for women. And to tell you that you are not compatible is game and if you continue to give in to this it will set the tone for this relationship. Even if you decide to continue in a relationship there will be an unhealthy balance. Explore the host’s Big three. Maintain your principle’s, walk away and charge your loss to the game with no animosity. You deserve someone who will love and respect and not cause you to feel conflicted in your principles or degraded. If you have decided to continue with this relationship please stand your ground you educate people on how to treat your and if they are a good person they will respect your choices.
What I have learned from my most recent past boyfriend is this: he taught me what to look out for in a man.
When we first met, he and I did a LOT of talking. We discussed everything from our upbringings to our commonalities. We didn’t have sex for nearly six weeks; in fact, the first time we did, it was explosive and he had me hooked. I should have known RIGHT THEN he was nothing but trouble. Sexual chemistry is very strong with some of us women, I suspect, with MOST of us women.
While men look at sex as a primal instinct, most women look at it as a reassurance of our attractiveness and a way of gaining affection. Let’s face it ladies, there’s little that’s better than being ensconced in a strong man’s arms, being held, being LOVED. Men and women have very different viewpoints on what sex means.
To me, it was my ability to be ‘wanted’ and ‘desired.’ To him, it was a release. Period. While the orgasmic release of endorphins are fabulous, there’s got to be so much more.
Hearing his ‘words of love’ uttered during the act did a lot to cement the thought that he was THE ONE for me. I knew instinctively though that they were JUST words. I had already discovered his infidelities but I was so weakened by the awesome sex that I couldn’t separate the two things (sex and love) from one another. It took some time, but eventually even this hard-headed Taurean woke up.
As our host has touched on here, it’s a GAME. Knowing the rules is 90% of the battle in playing it successfully.
I do believe he is worth it. Only time will tell….
So, I met this really cool guy – super cool! We have a fantastic time together. And we had already developed a wonderful mental bond through numerous conversations. At the end of our date, he wanted a BJ. I had already made a decision to hold true to my principles, and we had even discussed that very thing prior to our meeting. After much debate, I declined – not because I don’t like oral sex, but because this was our first actual meeting, and we were in my car. I almost just went with it, because we had established such an excellent rapport. But he didn’t want “sex”, just a flipping BJ!! And now, this seemingly cool guy now deems us incompatible! I realize that all of this really shouldn’t bother me – I left with my principles and self-respect intact. Yet, I am greatly bothered, and very, very disappointed. What the hell does one do with that?!?!?
Wow!! That really sucks! Any chance he can redeem himself? It’s possible he wasn’t in his right mind, and after self-exploration, maybe he’ll come ’round. Is he worth it?
ALL is so true, yet somehow elusive to many…. our cravings usually win out, which is truly a sad thing indeed… If we, as strong, sexy, worthy women, would adhere to these principles,and recognize our TRUE WORTH, rather than let our raw core dictate our actions, life would “be a dream”!! I can say, because I have been…..