Playin’ Past Forty
I met a woman a few years ago. During our phone conversation she said that she had recently met a man who told her, rather mysteriously, that he wanted to know where her mind was at. She expressed suspicion about this term and asked me what it meant. Not wanting to seem like an expert on the subject I brushed it off as an urban idiom that is tossed around loosely and has no concise meaning. But what I did not say was just how important it is to keep one’s mind to one’s self.
The philosophy behind the term became popular in the late 1980’s through Gangsta hip-hop, but the hood lumpenproletariat had been practicing this dark wisdom long before that. Despite more than three decades of mainstream exposure, if you ask ten African Americans what the phrase means, you will likely get at least two or three different answers. This is due in part to the fact that at many of them are under its spell. But let me see if I can unravel its mystery.
Many would describe this term quite simply as a person’s understanding, or lack there of, of the Game: a social/economic calamity from which those who are willing to exploit the will and recourses of the weak (people, companies or the system) can create their own opulence in it. By this definition it is theorized that those who’s minds are not in the Game (which means that they aren’t aware of what the Game is really about) but who are led into it anyway are prime candidates to fund the expedition. So, by this definition there are only two places that your mind can be, in the Game or somewhere else. Where in somewhere else land your mind is is irrelevant, because if it’s not in the Game then you are considered part of the weak, which makes you exploitable.
For me, where your mind at is refers to an actual area of the mind. It’s an aspect of your subconscious that controls (if not protects) your primal urges. I liken it to a playful little puppy living inside your subconscious acting solely on impulse and living strictly for the moment. When it senses what it craves it waddles up to your consciousness and takes over your will to satisfy its primal urges. When its primal urges have been met, it waddles back down into your subconscious leaving you to deal with the aftermath of its selfish endeavors.
Regardless to which definition you side with one fact remains true: before a playa can attempt to play the Game, they must first secure a commitment from a sponsor. This requires knowing where that sponsor’s mind is at.
Locating the puppy
The deeper this metaphorical puppy dwells inside your subconscious the more difficult it is for outside forces to keep her on the surface long enough to take full advantage of you. This can be problematic to a user because making a rags to riches miracle come true can take some time. The last thing a user wants is to be oh so close to making the dream a reality only to have you wake up and cut funding, forcing them to start from scratch elsewhere
This is why they must first locate the puppy and find a way to keep her on the surface before introducing you to the Game. This is accomplished by finding out what you are weak to. Although a woman can be weak to many things, what a user is looking for is a complete mind bender: something that you cannot resist and will do virtually anything for. Guidance, great sex, a relationship after having his baby and or drugs and alcohol are prime examples. Whatever you are weak to will become the trigger, connecting him to your subconscious puppy and keeping her on the surface. If the connection is made successfully then you will acquiesce to his will in order to feed off the trigger. Now he knows where your mind is at.
Pot Committed: Let the Game begin
Once this aspect of your mind (the puppy) is located and a reliable trigger (bone) has been found, the user will then establish a relationship (leash) that commits you to your roll in the Game as his sponsor. Because you think your mind is in a place called love you will likely become emotionally committed to helping make his causes successful. In poker this would be the equivalent to being pot committed.
How you help these guys fulfill their agendas can vary. It all depends on how deep within the Game’s many levels you are taken. Whatever your roll, it’s usually not until the relationship bubble finally burst that you realize that you were never in love in the first place. You fell in love with the concept of love. In reality the subconscious you was weak to something that the conscious you mistook as love. And now you’re stuck like Chuck in what this Game truly is—a social/economic calamity, possibly with major hits taken to your credit score, odometer and number of dependents.
This is why it is important to be proactive during the Spring of your relationship cycle by preventing users from gaining a foothold in your inner relationship universe. Maintain your Veil of Secrets and gather all the information needed to vet him! Users of all ethnicities now know how to gain your trust and commit you to sliding down their rabbit hole at your own expense. All they need to know is where’s your mind at
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Oh yes… I have seen it happen before and I must admit I am a victim to the mindset question. As women, its in our nature to want to please our man. So once a guy learn your mindset, habits, and history of actions then he knows how to control you to get what he wants. My ex-husband told me years later that he played this game on me and many young women. He’s running game while you think he love and care about you. It’s hard because we want so bad to have someone to trust and confide in. Hang in there ladies and let time show you who you’re dealing with.
I’ve seen this happen to friends many times. My philosophy is, I take care of my stuff and he takes care of his stuff. I have kids, and I sure don’t need another dependant in the form of man!